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Legally Blonde

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ANGER MANAGEMENT WARNING!!!!!
If you are a blonde who is tired of Blonde jokes, read no further. It could seriously damage your mental health!

When I was younger I was a natural blonde but from the time I started having my hair cut shorter, in my teens, my hair started to darken to mousy brown. Now I feel the need to visit the hairdressers on a regular basis, to return to that blonde of my childhood.
It is not because of the few encroaching grey hairs around my temples, ageing does not worry me.  I need a “logical” answer for the frequent exasperated cry of ” For God’s sake why can’t you remember  where you  you left  your keys again” My reply……..I’m BLONDE, what do you expect!! I have even gone so far as to learn the Turkish equivalent “saftrığım’  because I am asked the same questions, along with a with a few more in the same vein, in Turkish. Not fair to stereotype blondes like this, I know but….

 

My keys have several keyrings hanging out of them to make the bunch easier to find but still they manage to elude me. Maybe people are trying to have me committed by hiding my keys and making me think I’m going nuts! It is not possible for a person to have their keys in their hand one minute and they’ve completely disappeared the next. It must be a conspiracy.

Luckily for me, people don’t realise how often I have to ring my phone to find it.
My new car  has a fancy radio with bluetooth – well fancy for me anyway – my last car was a teenager and got stroppy .When I turn on the ignition I can see if the phone is connected.  I can rest easy knowing that it is somewhere about my person, or in my bag . (My bag is a whole other story. I have to have a big bag,  putting your hand into it is a bit of a risk. In the natural world, it has it’s own special habitat classification.)

Back to topic! I was always a bit ditsy ……or disorganised. These days it seems to be worse. Last Thursday I was trying to turn off the overhead projector and it wouldn’t switch off.  I thought that maybe the battery in the remote control was going. I looked down at my hand and thanked God I was teaching the little ones. If the older classes had seen me trying to switch off the projector with my  car keys, they would not have let me live it down for a long time.

So, no insult to blondes intended, but I use my blonde hair as an excuse for my lack of attention, poor short term memory,encroaching age, senior moments, failing mental health. How stereotypical is that!

I have been feeling guilty for my labelling of blondes, but unable to think of another excuse for my ditsyness I did not know what to do about it, how to move on! However on Friday I had a eureka! moment, I found the perfect answer.

It speaks for itself………no insult to monkeys intended!!